Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning

In this Issue...

I’ve been mulling this editorial over in my mind for a few days now. Do I mention the World Cup? Do I make a joke about footballers’ intelligence being artificial? Will England have gone out by the time everyone reads this? 

Only one of the three is certain, so I’ll leave it there for now. The last World Cup of any meaning was in 1998 anyway, when, in the opening game of the tournament, John Collins equalised for Scotland against the mighty Brazil (nafe.ms/2NaBB82), who we held to a 1:1 draw until, typically, scoring an own goal in the 73rd minute. Since then, it’s been an anti-climax really. No Scotland = No Party.

But you’re not all interested in football (Soccer! nafe.ms/2N70EJa), so I’ll move on quickly. Just like Germany this year (ouch). Don’t laugh too much though – 40 years of hurt, and still counting, lads….

Anyway, Artificial Intelligence creeps me out. There. I’ve said it. The fact that google now tells me how long it’ll take to get to the DIY store each time I get into the car on a Sunday afternoon without me telling ANYONE where I’m going, is, to be honest, freaky as hell. Yes, I AM going to the DIY store, but even if Google knows that, why freak me out by telling me? It’s like some weird serial-killer movie (“I'm watching through your window. Nice bottle of wine. Is that a new shirt you're wearing?”) kind of thing. I know, I know – AI is a liiiittle more than that, especially in the context of engineering simulation. But, c’mon, tell me Alexa doesn’t make you feel a little uncomfortable (pro tip – just drop a scarf over her when you want some privacy. You’ll thank me. Yes, you.). I’m not linking to it, but if you don’t mind a barrage of extreme swearing, and you’re a Samuel L. Jackson fan, search for “Alexa L Jackson” on Youtube (as I said, it’s one of the sweariest, NSFW, and funniest, things you’ll ever see, so you’ve been warned!). THAT’S how I’d like my AI, thank you very much. 

Moving swiftly along once again (man, my transitions are becoming more and more seamless by the day), the call for papers for our 2019 World Congress is now open. We hope you’ll consider submitting your abstract and joining us in Quebec. If you've never been to a World Congress before, you really need to experience it. If you've already attended one, we hope to welcome you back!

As if this jam-packed edition of benchmark isn’t enough of a gift, we’re also running a competition in this issue with a fantastic prize – an OjO Smart Electric Commuter Scooter (nafe.ms/scooter). All you have to do is “Spot the Southgate”. That’s right – we’ve hidden the Waistcoated Wonder somewhere in this edition. All you have to do is find him, and email me with the page number he’s on for your chance to win. Good luck!